• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Notes of Nomads

Crossing Cultures, Pushing Boundaries

  • Home
  • New here?
    • About us
    • Get Free E-Book
  • Blog
  • Browse posts
  • Destinations
    • Africa
      • Egypt
      • Morocco
      • Tunisia
    • Asia/Oceania
      • China
      • India
      • Indonesia
      • Japan
      • Laos
      • Malaysia
      • Mongolia
      • Myanmar (Burma)
      • Sri Lanka
      • Taiwan
      • Vietnam
    • Europe
      • Bosnia & Herzegovina
      • Bulgaria
      • Croatia
      • Finland
      • France
      • Germany
      • Greece
      • Ireland
      • Italy
      • Montenegro
      • Poland
      • Russia
      • Serbia
      • The Netherlands
      • The UK
      • Turkey
    • The Americas
      • Bolivia
      • Guatemala
      • Peru
  • Terms of Use
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact
    • Email us
    • Work with us
    • Join an event

Viet Kieu: Returning to Vietnam for the first time

Asia/Oceania · January 16, 2014

This post may contain compensated links. See our Terms of Use for full disclosure.

Until Vietnam, the town ‘Trà Vinh' had just been two words that followed ‘Place of birth' on Hai’s passport. Usually taking care of most of the admin side of our travel, I had written those words on countless immigration cards over the years.

Although situated in the popular Mekong Delta area where floating markets are a big tourist draw card, Trà Vinh is still relatively untouched by tourism. The lady at the hostel tour desk in Ho Chi Minh City thought Hai must have mispronounced it until she realized he is of Vietnamese background, before launching into the same kinds of questions the immigration officer had at the airport. She called to organize a bus for us for the following day. By chance, the person on the other end of the line was her old friend from high school who apparently now worked for the bus company. They could do us a favor by dropping by the hostel in the morning to take us to the bus station.

The driver of this informal shuttle service was a middle-aged man with the mouth of sailor. We got in to find a Vietnamese couple already inside. We held on as the driver swerved violently in and around Ho Chi Minh's sea of traffic, not holding back on his thoughts about the apparent lack of driving skills of everyone else on the road or his prerogative to occupy every square inch of it. We jerked to a stop by the side of the road to pick up more passengers. Looking at the group waiting there, he started yelling at them to decide amongst themselves who would stay and who would go. There wasn't enough room for everybody and he didn't dance around with niceties. A couple with a baby was spared the wait and joined us in the madness of flying luggage and heart-stopping overtakes.

The driver received a phone call for more pick ups, which was answered with his usual barrage of profanities. “I don't have any more f***'n room for any more f***'n passengers! I've already got two f***'n foreigners in here!” Implying that we were already bigger than the average Vietnamese and therefore taking up far too much space.

Upon arriving at the bus station, I exchanged a smile and a “trời ơi!” (Oh my god!) with the Vietnamese couple who were also glad to be emerging alive and coincidentally were heading on the same bus to Trà Vinh. The driver went and got our tickets which we had already paid for at the hostel and pointed to the bus we should get on. Hai thanked him and told him he was crazy in a light-hearted way that one can express after the fact one's feet are firmly on the ground. The driver just started laughing because he knew it.

I wondered how Hai would feel when we reached Trà Vinh, whether he would feel a deeper sense of connection. Vietnam was always going to be more than just a visit to any country. There are few places in this world where we can have both a good understanding of language and a culture before we set foot there, despite whether we’re up-to-date with current slang or the way we have come to celebrate a tradition has become influenced by another culture. There’s a familiarity there that makes things comfortable, and Hai’s language skills made getting around easy.

Our first look at Trà Vinh was a motorcycle ride from the bus station to the central streets. Riding down a beautiful tree-lined avenue with just a light sprinkling of traffic, it was clear we were no longer in the big city.

Motorbike ride, Tra Vinh, Vietnam

After having yet another conversation about his roots, only this time with more specific questions given that we were now in the town in question, we checked into a hotel room overlooking an interesting intersection and the market.

Tra Vinh Market, Vietnam

The owner was hospitable and direct – characteristics that generally come with the culture. No question was off limits on first meeting – our age, how much we earn and of course why on Earth we don't have children yet.

After spending the day wandering the streets and getting our first real Vietnamese coffee, we returned to the hotel with bánh mì thịt, Vietnamese pork rolls with pâté, salad and chili. “Where did you buy those?” the owner immediately asked as we came in. “You didn’t buy it from that place over there, did you? Because their bread tastes like shit. You might as well just throw it in the bin right now and go get another one from somewhere else.”

After learning where we bought them from, in a mixture of relief and surprise she said, “Oh, good. But how did you know about that place?” “We didn't actually,” Hai said. “We were just walking past and lots of locals were there, so we thought it must be alright.” It turns out this wasn’t the place they usually frequent, but it was good all the same. Not full on one each, Hai went out to get more from their recommended stall across the way.

Walking around town, we were obviously “not from around here.” When we walked into cafes, there was that momentary look of panic, but upon hearing the familiar sounds of their language, there were calls to the kitchen of “Don't worry, they speak Vietnamese!” After four years in Japan, the little Vietnamese I had acquired from study and being around Hai's family was almost gone. But I had “Two white ice coffees, please” down and it fooled more than a few people into thinking I was fluent.

People stared around town and in the market, and some were shy to speak until we initiated a conversation with a greeting or asking them about what they were selling. The fact that Hai looked and sounded Vietnamese, yet was from a completely different place and culture, and married to a non-Vietnamese woman was a recipe for utmost intrigue, and we spent many an hour in the markets answering questions about how old we are, how much we earn and why we don't have children yet.

Buying and selling. Tra Vinh Market, Vietnam

One group was particularly chatty and the younger ones were asking if it was easy to find a husband or wife in Australia and whether we could find one for them, but at the same time were too shy to pose for a photo with us. Jokingly, Hai said, “How are we supposed to find you a spouse if we don't have a picture of you?” “No, no, I'm too ugly, they can't know what I look like until after they agree to marry me!”

In search of a wife. With locals in Tra Vinh, Vietnam.
This guy finally relented. In search of a wife. Any takers?

Nursing our first white ice coffee of the day one morning, I asked Hai the question that everyone had been so keen to know, “How do you feel about being here?” He smiled and said, “People seem to be expecting me to get all emotional about returning to the “motherland”.” And it was true. The way people were asking had been with the hope of some grand tale of re-connection and the writer in me secretly hoped it to be so too.

But the reality was Hai didn’t remember Trà Vinh. Having left Vietnam as an infant, there weren’t any memories to get emotional about. He was seeing it as I was: for the first time. It was a trip out of curiosity rather than a burning desire to research his ancestry or find long-lost relatives.

It's like when you visit a new country and you can say, “Oh, so that's what it's like here.” And after 32 years out of the country and having been to so many others, there was something nice about being able to say, “So this is where I was born.” It was strange to think that his mum would have been carrying him through those very streets at a very different time and what his life would have been like if his family hadn't decided to escape post-war Vietnam in search of a better life in Australia. “I'd probably be serving you this white ice coffee worried about not being able to communicate in English.” “But you still would have fallen in love with me anyway,” he added cheekily. Well, I guess some things are just meant to be. :)

The streets, Tra Vinh, Vietnam.

Share this post:

FacebookTwitterPinterestRedditLinkedinEmail

Filed Under: Asia/Oceania Tagged With: Favourites, vietnam

Jessica Korteman

Jessica Korteman is an Australian travel writer, based in Tokyo, Japan. Never without a pen and paper, you'll most often find her delving into the world of festivals and culture.

Reader Interactions

Comments

    Join the conversation. Leave a comment... Cancel reply

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  1. Charlie says

    February 18, 2014 at 8:25 am

    Great story! Actually one of my favorite travel blog reads ever. I love that everyone was asking you “why you don’t have children yet” haha. Glad I got to reading it.

    Reply
    • Jessica Korteman says

      February 18, 2014 at 10:35 pm

      That’s quite the compliment! Thank you, Charli! Glad you enjoyed reading it. Yes, 29 and no children: unfathomable! hahaha

      Reply
  2. Britt Skrabanek says

    August 19, 2013 at 1:57 am

    You had me laughing my ass off with this post. The shuttle driver sounds like a real sweetheart. It’s too bad you guys took up so much room with your foreign physique…LOL.

    What an amazing experience for Hai to return home after being gone for so long. It makes you understand your significant other so much more when you see their roots.

    My hubby grew up in Milwaukee, and I found it infinitely fascinating to see where he was from. And this, after being married for several years already. Definitely brought us even closer.

    Reply
    • Jessica Korteman says

      August 26, 2013 at 12:47 pm

      Yes, we really should think twice about where we travel with our outlandish statures ;)

      You’re right, there is something so fascinating about learning about someone’s roots, especially someone so close to you. It was really a special thing that we could experience together.

      Reply
  3. Liz Picking says

    August 18, 2013 at 7:55 am

    Hi Guys another amazing adventure has unfolded and by all that is good, lucky to have survived the jouney let alone the the destination hey? Awesome !

    Reply
    • Jessica Korteman says

      August 26, 2013 at 12:16 pm

      Hi Liz! Sometimes the journey is more eventful than the destination hahaha But it’s all part of travel and why we love it :)

      Reply
      • Liz Picking says

        August 26, 2013 at 3:34 pm

        Understand why u travel and maybe nice to come home occassionly but only for a short while. Be too boring when u compare it to travelling hey? One day your Body & money will run out of puff but until then, enjoy. Thanks to you guys again though your eyes, I certainly enjoying the journeys !

        Reply
  4. Marc says

    August 16, 2013 at 9:03 pm

    Hey Jess,

    I don’t know if you remember me from Japan last year but I now live in Vietnam. I completely missed the fact Hai was Viet Kieu.

    I love this country so much. I wanted to visit Tra Vinh when I was down in the Mekong but time did not permit.

    I now split my time between Hanoi and Ha Tinh. I write for Word Vietnam and MBike magazine which launches early next month. I am also selling articles back home as well.

    Vietnam has been incredibly kind to me and I hope it will to you as well. Hai may experience problems in the north as they are resentful towards Viet Kieu here but if you’re about, It’d be good to catch up, eat some street food and drink the best bia hoi.

    You’re also more than welcome to take my room if and when you’re up in Hanoi free of charge.

    Please don’t leave here without visiting Phong Nha Ke Bang National Park. Book an adventure through Oxalis if money permits or visit the caves that are easily accessible in the stunning jungle surrounds. It’s a picture of how sustainable tourism can change an area for positive reasons and make the government take conservation more seriously than they do in other ‘National Parks’. It will feature as this month’s cover story, available September 1.

    Con Dao also offers a great chance to see something amazing sights off the tourist trail as well as some great opportunities to write. My hands are tied as to how much I can write, especially when it comes to investigative pieces but you can and should crack on. Speak to Larry at Dive Dive Dive if you go and take the boat from Vung Tau instead of flying.

    Anyway, bell me on +84 1265 141492 if you want to catch up or need any advice.

    Reply
    • Jessica Korteman says

      August 17, 2013 at 9:02 am

      Hey Marc!

      Great to hear from you! Sounds like you are doing lots of exciting things in Vietnam.

      Unfortunately, we already left a week and a half ago. So much happened during our three weeks there that we are having to recount experiences after the fact.

      We didn’t see the places you recommended unfortunately, but we have already realized that we definitely have to go back to Vietnam to explore a lot more of it so we’ll be sure to put them on our list.

      Thanks so much for your kind offer of a place to stay and catching up in Hanoi! We would have loved to if we had known!

      Hopefully we have the chance to catch up soon in Vietnam, Japan or somewhere else in the world!

      Greetings from Mongolia and good luck with the launch of the magazine and all your writing endeavors.

      Reply

Primary Sidebar

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Recent Posts

  • 10 Interesting Things to do in Oita, Japan (that aren’t the Hells)
  • My Miscarriage Story: What nobody tells you about miscarriage
  • Is this my last day of being pregnant?
  • Kyoto Hidden Gems: 7 Top Things to do in Kyoto You’ve Never Heard Of
  • How a bottomless water ladle aids your safe childbirth in Japan
Lonely Planet Pathfinders badge image

© 2019